Communication is key when planning any wedding

A couple of days ago I wrote about “Who to Please When Planning Your Wedding” and it occurred to me I never truly closed the loop on how to handle unruly family and friends when you are planning your wedding.

While I’m not a family therapist, and have no intention of becoming one, (although some days I do feel like I play the role) I often have to step in and iron out family matters and smooth over ruffled feathers.

Photo Courtesy of Maring Visuals

The truth is, families are complicated and they get even more complicated when planning a wedding.  The mothers want to feel like they are contributing, especially when there is a planner involved.  Some siblings want to help, but aren’t sure where they are needed.  And others members of the family really don’t care or perhaps they care too much.

So what is a bride to do when it comes to planning her wedding and dealing with family dynamics?  Communication is the key…While it may not solve all problems and while not everyone involved will truly understand, communication is the key to almost any relationship.

I often recommend to my brides and grooms who have sticky family relationships to sit down and clearly communicate what their vision is for their wedding.  Notice, I said “their”.  It’s because it is about the bride and the groom, that’s not to say others opinions shouldn’t be counted, but in the end it is about the bride and groom.  By clearly communicating what they desire it will hopefully be a springboard for how others will react and respect their choices.

Photo Courtesy of Fifth Avenue Digital

Also, by clearly communicating the roles they wish family members to take it will help set boundaries and in the end open the lines of communication.  I’m not saying there won’t be heated discussions here and there, but what I am saying is that if everyone comes together and clearly communicates their desires, their wants and their “don’t want’s” then it puts everyone on the same page and it creates mutual respect.

Again, I’m not a therapist, and I don’t pretend to be one, but after many years of planning weddings with hundreds of different personalities' the one thing I’ve learned is that if everyone is on the same page, whether they want to be or not, it does make planning a wedding a bit easier.

Until next time…

Cheers!

A Bar Mitzvah Touchdown!

I always like to be able to design an event that is out of the box.  For that reason, I love Bar and Bat Mitzvahs since there is an extra degree of creativity that comes with designing the theme for the party.

Recently I had the chance to design such a Bar Mitzvah at the W New York Hotel.  With a very cool LED lighting system the ballroom was perfect for this football themed Bar Mitzvah and I had a lot of fun creating it.  

Guests entering the space were greeted by a stunning escort card table.  I combined green roses and orchids with more exotic greens such as bamboo to create the lush centerpiece. The centerpiece was then surrounded with football inspired escort cards for the adults and football pass lanyards for the kids.

As an accent on the kids cocktail tables I created these fun footballs covered with green button mums.  I added logos of the Bar Mitzvah Boy's favorite football teams to the containers for that extra little detail that rounded out the overall look and feel to the party.

As guests entered the ballroom they saw a large backdrop of a football stadium that gave the illusion the kids tables were on a football field.  This helped to create depth to the space while adding a "wow" factor to the room!

I brought the wall to life by adding two long tables where astroturf created the look and feel of a real football field on the table top.  Placed in the center of each table were large glass vases filled with footballs which helped to create height and drama by supporting two life size cutouts of football players that seemed to be running down the field from the stadium.  It was a great display that had real impact in the room.

There were other little touches I added to complete the theme.  For example, all of the napkins at the adult tables were wrapped with a napkin ring that resembled a football field.  For the adult arrangements I used  roses, orchids and other green floral to create a sleek and elegant centerpiece that rounded out the overall look to the party.

In the end it was a great Bar Mitzvah.  Everyone was thrilled with the result and we had a great time creating it!  While all of the vendors pulled together I want to send a special thanks to John Benke at the W New York and Jen from Fifth Avenue Digital for her great photography.

Until next time...

Cheers.

A Mad Mad Birthday

I realized it has been a while since I told you about one of our special events so I thought I would get back into the swing of things by telling you about a really fun first birthday party I recently planned and designed for one of my favorite long time clients.

Last Summer my client contacted me to start the process of planning her daughter's first birthday party.  Having worked with this client several times, I had a good idea of what she wanted and immediately went to work to plan the perfect party for her little girl.

We started with the venue.  After checking out several potential locations we decided that the perfect place for the party would be Maritime Parc on the waterfront in Jersey City.  While the party was in Winter, the venue has great views of the city and provided the perfect backdrop for the party.

Now that we had the venue, it was time to decide on a theme for the Birthday.  My client wanted something fun but not over the top.  The first thing that came to my mind was "Alice in Wonderland".  My client loved the idea so I now set off to pull together all of the other elements needed for the party.

To start setting the theme I knew I would need the perfect invitation.  To create the invitation I enlisted the help of Ceci New York.  Ceci created a custom invitation that was perfect to set the stage for our Alice in Wonderland theme.  Using a Mad Hatter shape as the base, and pink and purple as the primary colors, the invitation had the whimsical look that I was looking for.

In thinking about the Alice in Wonderland decor I thought it would be great to make the birthday cakes become part of the decor.  To do this I initiated the help of Anne Heap of Pink Cake Box to create a themed cake that would serve as the focal point of each tables decor.  I cannot tell you what a great choice this was as Pink Cake Box creating some of the most incredible cakes I have seen.  Just look at the photos of some of the cakes they created for this Birthday.

Now we had the invitation and cakes, next on my agenda was the entertainment.  I knew my client would really like to have a lot of activities to keep the kids busy so I contacted Darren of On the Move Entertainment to put together the various elements to create a fun party for all of the kids that would be attending.  Keeping with the theme we naturally had to have Alice and the Mad Hatter in attendance.  

To help Alice and the Mad Hatter we enlisted the help of a great face painter, an amazing balloon artist, and Wacky Wendy who truly lives up to her name.  Also, to help the parents relax for the afternoon, Tish from Elegant Event Sitters provided staff to take care of the kids and make sure everyone was having fun.

I cannot tell you how much fun I had putting this party together with all of the details that went into the decor to carry the theme through the party.  While we had these amazing cakes for the centerpiece, I added a lot of small touches that were simple but really finished off the party.  

This includes the bright pink embroidered taffeta linens and special touches like the teapots filled with bright pink and purple flowers, butterflies that were used to accent the napkins.  Everything came together for a terrific birthday.

When all is said and done it was a wonderful party for a terrific client.  I really want to thank all of the vendors who helped bring all of the elements together and a special thanks to Jen at Fifth Avenue Digital for the terrific photography that is features here.

Until the next great party.

Cheers!

Expert tips on selecting a photographer from Elizabeth Beskin, President of Fifth Avenue Digital

10 Important Tips to Remember When Choosing a Photographer for Your Special Event!

There are a few things to keep in mind when planning photography for your special day. You will only get to make this important decision once. When the wedding or other special event is over, the pictures are one of the few things that remain, apart from the dress and the rings. The photography is there to remind you of all the fond memories of the day, the intricate details you planned and of course all of the emotion.

Here are the top 10 things to consider when choosing your wedding photographer:

1. Every photographer has his or her own unique style. Look for a style of photography that "speaks" to you. A good wedding photographer should have the ability to really capture mood, emotion, and sentiment within his photographs. The shots shouldn't just sit there; they should move you in some way. They should provoke a reaction within you, whether you’re looking for romantic shots, a fashion-forward portrait session, outrageous candids or artistic photojournalism. You’ll probably find yourself drawn repeatedly to a certain style, which will help you define the style of photographer you want for your occasion.

2. Question the photographers about their styles. What sets them apart? How do they approach the wedding? Do they enjoy shooting weddings and events or are they really a fashion photographer or journalist making extra money for now? You want someone that loves everything about weddings: the romance, the fashion, the emotion and the traditions. Make sure you trust them enough to create something special for you.

3. If you are working with a studio or a company that has multiple shooters, ask to meet the photographer that you will be spending your important day with. Make sure this person is someone you would like at your wedding. You may spend more time with them than family and friends on your wedding day. Is the chemistry right? You want to be on the same page and click with them!

4. How much experience does the photographer have? This is probably the most important question. It’s very easy these days to find someone with a website and an inexpensive camera who will offer to shoot your event for a small fee. Experience matters! You have thought out every other detail about your occasion; don’t leave this one to chance.

5. Don’t judge photographers’ work by their website alone. If your interest in a particular photographer is serious, ask to see an entire job. It’s relatively easy to find a few outstanding shots in every job. Photographers today sometimes shoot over 2000 images at a single wedding. Make sure you see a large number of outstanding shots within one job, and consider how many images you need to go through to find those killer moments. You want the photographer’s images to reflect the caliber of work you expect, with each and every wedding they’ve already shot.

6. What kind of lighting do they use? When photographers say they shoot portraits using natural light, this is another way of saying, “I don’t own portrait lighting.” This works fine if you are planning an outdoor wedding or will be doing portraits near a window, but if you are having your portraits done mostly in a ballroom, or in any other indoor location, you need portrait lights! Even if your wedding is outdoors, it never hurts to be prepared.

7. Ask about backup equipment. Again, if you get a blank stare you know they are not prepared to shoot your wedding. They should have at least two cameras for each photographer and multiple lenses and flashes. This sounds trivial but digital cameras do fail. There are many photographers who do not have sufficient gear to shoot weddings, so make sure to ask what they use.

8. Ask your photographer if they have a backup program on their hard drives. Digital photographers rely on hard drives to archive your images. Anyone with a computer will know that computers frequently have problems. If they give you a blank stare or can’t explain how they store their images, then you know they are unprepared. Your photographer should have your images backed up in multiple places and perhaps a copy off site. These things cost money so be prepared that photographers with good back up plans will cost more.

9. If they get sick or another emergency arises, what happens? If they can’t talk about it then they haven’t thought about it. Granted, the chances of this are rare. In my 22 years of representing photographers, it’s happened only twice. One year, a photographer’s wife went into early labor. A few years later, the death of another photographer’s father occurred the morning of a wedding. In both situations, the bride and groom preferred a focused replacement, rather than a shooter who wasn’t really focused on their day. Both were thrilled at the way it was handled. Other acceptable answers to this question: the photographer belongs to a professional organization such as PPA or WPPI which can provide a replacement or he has emergency “on call” arrangements with other professional photographers. Make sure they will replace themselves with someone of a similar style and price point. At 5th Avenue Social, we have a team of shooters that are all artistically different, but have similar work styles. Happily, photographers who work for me perform even when under the weather. Only the most extreme emergency will keep them from a job.

10. When it comes to pricing, make sure you understand what you are getting up front and that you are comparing apples to apples when evaluating different photographers’ packages. Many photographers have introductory pricing that is tied to what you buy after you see their images. They know that they can up-sell you after the wedding. Find out what you receive with the basic package, how many hours the photographer is hired for, how much the extras cost, who owns the high resolution images, and how long it will take for you get them.

And finally, one more tip for good measure:

11. Do you know anyone who has used this photographer? Can they get you a reference? Have you looked online to see what other brides say about them in reviews? Were they recommended by your other trusted vendors? Ask for references from your photographer and speak to their past clients. These are all good ways to make sure your important day is artistically covered.

Elizabeth Beskin is President of 5th Avenue Social, a high-end photography company providing talented photographers for weddings, mitzvahs and other occasions, in various price levels and styles. She also has an online album company called albumboutique.com to help brides make an heirloom album with the images they own from their photographers

"Wednesday's Wedding" - Andrew and Rob

I have a FABULOUS wedding to showcase this week! This past Memorial Day weekend, I designed and planned my second gay wedding for a fantastic couple, Andrew and Rob, and their 75 guests from all around the world, at The Mandarin Oriental here in New York City! Guests came from far off international locations such as London, Italy, Germany, and domestic locations as well such as California, Florida, and Virginia, all to honor the union of this great couple. We began the planning process for Andrew and Rob last August and after a lot of detail and hard work in the making, I can finally show you the finished product!

Festivities started with a family dinner on Friday night at Porterhouse in the Time Warner Building and a welcome reception at the Library Lounge at the Hudson Hotel, with Jeff Grow, an amazing illusionist! Saturday was the big day, and while we were setting up the two grooms were being pampered getting manicures, pedicures, facials, and massages at the spa inside the Mandarin Oriental. Now, that’s my idea of getting ready for your wedding! The event filled weekend concluded with a Sunday goodbye brunch at MObar, a chic and trendy bar, also in the Mandarin Oriental.

As you may gather this was not your typical wedding. We started with doing the ceremony on the dance floor! Very nontraditional and unique! Reverend Alma Daniel officiated the ceremony, combining the two religions of the couples, using a unity candle with the moms for the Protestant side, and breaking of glasses for the Jewish side. Immediately after the ceremony concluded, the couple went into their first dance, followed by a dance with the mothers and their sons, and then into a full dance set with music provided by a DJ from Total Entertainment! An easy transition into the reception portion of the evening!

A bunch of different elements went into creating this wedding for Andrew and Rob, including all of the décor details. We branded the night with the couple’s first initials in the form of an AR logo, very American bandstand-esque. Well at least we tried to! The liquid dance floor and ice luge were decorated with the AR logo, which became a main focal point of the room. We were also supposed to have custom napkins with the logo, but darn UPS messed things up! Oh well, as they say in showbiz, “the show must go on!” and this party definitely went on beautifully without the personalized napkins! Can’t sweat the small stuff!

Another element of the party was the custom linens and lighting design. The linens were specially made for Andrew and Rob in their color scheme of platinum, blue and brown. Adding specialty linens provides a personal touch to your reception, and something that guests will be sure to notice! In addition to the linens, Andrew and Rob decided on having all brown leather chairs, instead of your typical chivari chair that you see at most weddings. This special detail added an extra touch of character with a masculine touch to the already fabulous space.

One of the best décor elements was the hotels sweeping views of Central Park from the 36^th floor ballroom; but we kicked things up a notch with lighting designed by Robert Stark Lighting. When it comes to event design I am a HUGE fan of lighting to help create the ambiance within the room. The lighting was all done in shades of blue to highlight all aspects of the room, while the drapery and columns were lit in red to provide a stark contrast to the blues in the room. We also pin-spotted all of the tables in order to make a nightclub feel. Lighting like this adds different depths and textures to the room creating that lounge club feel we were looking for.

Now onto the flowers, one of my personal favorites of any wedding! For the floral centerpieces we used a variety of khaki’s and blues to stay consistent with Andrew and Rob’s color scheme. We created the beautiful tall arrangements that included roses, soft blue hydrangea, calla lilies, and orchids. The vases were a lot of fun, not typical, standard cylinder vases that you see at most weddings. As you may have noticed we left the tables looking empty due in part to the fact that there was open seating which allowed for people to roam and graze the party. This only works when you have food stations for guests to mix and mingle. This combined with the numerous lounge areas created height and depth within the room.

As you all know, no party, at least no party of mine, is complete without a specialty cocktail. For Andrew and Rob, their specialty cocktail of choice was a Manhattan. Very appropriate for the location! Wine was also served at the reception from all of Andrew and Rob’s favorite California wineries right from their own personal wine library.

A favorite of both the guests and myself was the amazing cake designed by Charm City Cakes, you know, that awesome group of cake designers like Duff who are featured on The Food Network’s "Ace of Cakes"! As you can see, the cake symbolized all of the places that Andrew and Rob have traveled to around the world. Some of the locations included Russia, London, Paris, Rome, Greece, India, and finally Andrew and Rob in New York City standing in front of the Empire State Building about to board a jet plane! Below the globe was an exact replica of the couple’s TUMI Luggage. This work of delicious chocolate art was extremely detailed down to the patches on Andrew’s sports coat. A fun element that all the guests enjoyed!

And now for the greatest surprise of the evening was the performance by the Screaming Queens. Maurice, the magnificent main performer, came out with his back up dancers and performed Cabaret to entertain the crowd! The Screaming Queens then went on to perform some of Rob’s favorite songs, like London Town! Later on in the evening “Lady Gaga” made a special appearance surprising all of the guests! After the performances guests continued to dance the night away with their brown and blue boas.

A lot of elements went into planning Rob and Andrew’s wedding extravaganza, but we had a blast and really enjoyed it as a team. I even learned a creative wedding tip from the client which was to ask the venue to have rolled up wet towels that are freezer cold so when the party gets hot you can cool down!

A special thanks to 5th Avenue Digital for all of the photographs!