Rabido for successful wedding planning, Communicate!

As I mentioned in a blog post a couple of weeks ago, the Holidays are a big time for engagements.  So I thought this would be an appropriate time to share my top Rabido for any newly engaged couple...Communicate!

A perfect example is a bride and groom I worked with who wanted the quintessential New York City fairy tale wedding with two hundred people in a landmark venue like the St. Regis or the Pierre.  When we started discussing details with the couple such as preliminary budget, timeframe for planning and other details necessary to plan their big day the couple literally shut down.  The reason?  They hadn’t communicated or laid out their expectations with each other.  They were merely going off of what they should do rather than what they wanted.  In the end they happily decided on a wedding with fifty people in a quaint restaurant without the fanfare of a white wedding dress, grand entrances, and caviar.  By communicating and discussing their actual expectations and desires, they were able to distinguish between  what they were told they should have by friends and family as opposed to what they truly wanted their wedding to be.

So, the first step of planning your wedding should be communication.  Talk to your fiancée and get all of the important questions out of the way such as the size, style, and vision of your wedding.  This will help you convey the sense about what kind of wedding you want to have and open the discussion to your partner’s wishes and ideas as well.  

Happy planning to all of the newly engaged couples and...

Cheers

Enjoy Your Engagement!

Since the Holidays are a big time for engagements I thought it would be a good time to share some advice for newly engaged couples.  I see so many couples rush through their engagement to the wedding and not enjoy this special time with each other. This is a big Rabidon't!

Let me start with a simple tip, hold off on telling everyone your good news.  This is the perfect opportunity to take the time to quietly enjoy your engagement with your fiancé: things might seem calm now, but before you know it you’re going to get caught up in the tornado you call wedding planning.  Take a few moments to also enjoy time with your immediate family and a few close friends before unnecessary wedding questions, ideas, and pressure arise from Aunt Ida.  While her intentions are always from the heart there are many components she and others will want to talk to you about such as date, time, colors, location, and who to invite.  These thoughts can often overwhelm you and in the end take away the enjoyment of your engagement.

As you begin to plan your big day your schedules are going to fill up quickly with wedding appointments.  Therefore I like to recommend a few activities for you to do when you first get engaged. The purpose of these activities is to create memories, ease unwanted stress, and open the lines of communication.

Some of my favorite engagement ideas are:

Weekend getaway

Day at the Spa

Horse Back Riding

Hot Air Balloon Ride

Cooking Class

Pottery Class

Create a time capsule that reflects the date you got engaged

Day at the beach

By taking a brief amount of time to quietly enjoy your engagement you are allowing yourself a little bit of calm before the wedding bliss storm.

Until next time...

Cheers!

Are Facebook and Twitter the best ways to announce your Engagement?

Social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter are fabulous for getting your message across en masse.  So when you're newly engaged should you use these online tools to announce it to the world?  I think not....and here's why:

1. - Think about who follows you on Facebook or Twitter.
Will they be invited to the wedding?  If not, then you could potentially hurt feelings.  Also, do you really know who your Twitter followers are?  Chances are your don't.  So, just like you wouldn't invite every Tom, Dick or Harry you meet on the street, you shouldn't send out an announcement about your engagement to people you don't know.  Besides, something this precious is meant to be shared with only those you intend to invite to the wedding.

2. - Both Facebook and Twitter were developed to create quick, informative messages to those that follow you.  Although quick, it's also very impersonal.  For example, a friend of mine recently made the mistake of telling a friend she was pregnant before she was able to connect with her parents.  The friend she told then posted on Facebook that she was so excited for her.... Can you guess how her parents found out the special news?  Although she took precautions, her loud mouthed friend didn't, and thus ruined the special moment between her and her parents that she can never get back.

3. - Should you mail an announcement or send one via email?
I tend do be an old fashioned guy and, if you ask most seasoned planners, we will all say the same thing...Mail it!  Plain and simple, it's proper etiquette.  I don't know about you, but personally I enjoy getting something other than a bill or solicitations in the mail.  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy...And if you are worried about the expense of creating and mailing a wedding announcement, don't!  There are plenty of fabulous on line sites that have amazing finds such as FineStationery.com.  They have pages and pages of beautifully designed wedding announcements, wedding invitations, save the dates and much more.  They even have a fabulous team of people you can call and speak to if you get stumped.  So, before you say no to mailing an announcement, check them out.

4. - Should I blog about my wedding planning experience?
If you have the time to write, and you feel you are going to help others who are going through the same experience as you are, then I say yes.  If you are going to use that "forum" to complain, be a Bridezilla, or trash the wedding professionals, then I say no, you shouldn't.  There are plenty of amazing wedding blogs out there that were started by brides such as yourself and they have evolved into extremely informative tools.  But, there are also plenty of blogs out there that , honestly, I can't respect due to the lack of information, tone and content.  I say only write the blog if you can update it at least once a week.  You need to offer a take away; whether it be advice, great resources, or even mistakes you have made.  Also, you should write it only if you plan on phasing your newlywed experience into the blog after the wedding by posting your honeymoon experience, blogging about your first home together and even transitioning it when you're expecting your first child.

While the internet is quick and at our finger tips, you really need to stop and think before using it to announce those important moments in your life.

Until next time...

Cheers

Top mistakes newly engaged couples make.

Mazel Tov if you're one of the lucky couples who just got engaged! And, if you are like most newly engaged couples, you are overwhelmed with where to start when it comes to planning your wedding. The feeling of being overwhelmed is normal, but there a few things you can do to ease any stress you or others might put upon yourself in the beginning stages of planning your nuptials.


I know you want to scream your engagement from the rooftops and rightly so; it's an exciting time in your life and you want share it with friends and family. But I caution this because you should take the time to embrace this moment with your fiancé, close family and friends. The next 9 to 12 months are going to go by so fast, and will be filled with so many decisions, that you can get caught up in unnecessary drama and not enjoy what should be a special time in your life. Take a week or two and ease into letting those around you know your engaged. Hold off on announcing it on facebook, twitter or email blasts. By taking the time to enjoy the engagement glow, it will allow you to keep a level head when moving forward with the planning.


One of the biggest mistakes I see couples make is that they rush to try to plan everything at once. They want to book the venue, shop for the dress, pick the attendants, book the flowers, and all in the first month of their engagement. They become so overwhelmed with all the choices they actually have a meltdown. They run away, sometimes crying, fighting with their parents or future in-laws that the process is no longer fun. Rather than rush into the process, take your time…and most of all communicate with whoever is helping to pay for the wedding. Sit down and actually write out what is important and what isn't important. Brides, although this is your wedding it's also his wedding too. So be sure to include him in some of the choices even if he seems completely disinterested. Chances are the music, the food and the drink are important to him so let him have a say too.


If the parents are helping to pay for the wedding they do have a say in some of the choices. So be prepared to compromise. That is what any relationship is about; especially marriage. Don't put your blinders on and insist something go your way. So often brides come into my studio insisting they must get their way. They actually revert back to being little girls rather than grown women. Listen to everything people have to say and take everything into consideration. Don't get me wrong…this is your wedding and you are entitled to get what you want, but also be reasonable. If you don't like something, that's okay, but remember there is always a solution whereby everyone can be happy.


Another unfortunate mistake newly engaged couples make is that they don't do their research. They rush to sign contracts for fear they might lose the venue, the photographer or the band. This is a huge no, no! Do your research before signing. See what things are going to cost. There's good information out there on the web, but truth be told, some of it is completely misguided. It's like getting a second opinion from another doctor…it's best to not jump at the first opinion and to get several quotes from vendors in the same category. Try to get apple to apple comparisons when shopping for your wedding vendors.


When shopping for vendors, be honest with them. Vendors want to help you and they know you're shopping around, so the more information you provide the better they can meet your expectations. For example don't call or email a floral designer or flower shop and say I need 20 table arrangements, 4 bouquets and a chuppa, what will it cost? There are many different factors when it comes to flowers such as what look are you going for? Do you want sleek or do you want huge and full? Do you want gardenias and stephanotis in your bouquet or do you want tulips? And there's always budget…There is such a variety when it comes to cost that you need to help them manage your expectations by providing as much information as possible.


Another mistake couples make is they try to do everything themselves. DIY (Do It Yourself) has become so huge in recent years, due in large part to the state of the economy. But couples often take too much on and that's where the stress starts and mistakes happen. Wedding planners are there for a reason. This is what they do day in and day out. You wouldn't try to perform surgery on yourself or cut your own hair, why plan your own wedding. Hire the experts. And if you are afraid wedding planners are too expensive you have to ask yourself; “Is the money spent worth the peace of mind?” Knowing you have a professional that can help you organize, navigate and manage your needs along with the vendor's needs can be worth its weight in gold. SO when you go shopping for a planner understand that the cost is most certainly worth it.


And finally, I think the number one mistake couples make is that they forget to have fun. They get so wrapped up in the planning they forget what the wedding is really about. It's about joining their lives with the person they love. It's not about the future mother in law or sister in law they don't get along with. It's not about the fact they can't get the 2,000 white doves to fly overhead…it's about your marriage, your love and your commitment to your fiancé. Couples often lose sight of that and as a result they don't have fun and they don't enjoy the process. 

So take your time, have fun and...

Courtesy of Craig Paulson Studios

Cheers,