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10 Lies Pinterest tells us about weddings!

Wedding Registry Tips

As some of you may know I am planning a wedding of my own and my fiancé and I are now at the point where we are considering our wedding registry.  It's very interesting because we're both pretty established; however, there's something to be said about registering for things you might not otherwise buy for yourself.

So to make your registry life a little easier I thought I'd give you eight of my top registry tips!

Shawn’s Eight Registry Tips:

Where to Register

Once you’ve made your registry list, then you can determine where to register.  Choosing five or six stores might seem like the way to cover all of your bases, but in reality it will be confusing for your guests and too much work for you.  I recommend registering for no more than three stores.  This will help you manage your time and make shopping easier for your guests. 

Don’t Rush

Don’t try to register at all your stores in one day.  I recommend picking a store he likes, a store you like, and possibly a third.  Then plan on spending a total of two to three hours (yes it can take that long) at a store registering.  Whether it’s during the weekend or a night after work, make a date of it.  Set aside time for lunch, dinner, or catch a movie after…something that doesn’t involve weddings.  It will break up the registry process and make it fun for both of you.

Nothing’s Set In Stone

Always remember registries can be changed.  They aren’t hard and fast so if your groom likes the strange olive dish and wants to register for it, let him.  Marriage is about compromise and so is your registry.  Besides, you can always go in and delete it later.  Arguments in the store aren’t worth it! 

Three’s A Crowd

Do not shop with anyone but your fiancé.  Unless you intend for your parents and family to live with you, you shouldn’t bring them along for the ride. It’s best to leave them at home so they don’t influence your registry choices. This is about you and what you want as a couple.

I once had a mother and father of the bride go with the happy couple to do their registry: they registered for everything the mother wanted and nothing they wanted.  In the end they had a house full of presents they didn’t want and had to go back to the stores and return everything so they could shop on their own.  It was the biggest mistake of their wedding. 

Price Point

Register for varying price ranges.  I knew a bride who registered for only the most expensive items: high-end flatware, glass, and dinnerware.  This can be fine if all of your guests can afford it.  The problem with that bride was that her taste was far more expensive than what her guests’ wallets could afford.  In the end she received little of what she was registered for and was left to purchase most of the registry on her own.

You should be polite about what your guests can afford.  Register for a wide range of items so your guests aren’t left feeling like they need to take out a mortgage to get you a gift.

Seasonal Items

When registering ask a sales associate what is seasonal, what is new, and if anything on your list might become discontinued.  This is particularly important with anything table top because at any given time the store can discontinue your pattern or style leaving you without your favorite item.  If you want to include seasonal items on your registry make sure they are included one to three months prior to your wedding date because most seasonal items have a short shelf life in the store.

Register For More Than You Think

If you’re considering registering for a set of twelve, why not opt for a set of fourteen?  Glasses and plates may scratch and break and down the road children might hide the silverware.  You never know if you need to replace damaged items and your family can end up grow quickly.  It’s smart to register for more towels, sheets and blankets. These items tend to be expensive and wear out quickly.

Second Time Around?

I recently had a client where both the bride and groom were heading into their second marriage.  They felt funny setting up a wedding registry because they were established enough and had everything they needed.  I suggested they choose three to four of their favorite charities and ask their guests to anonymously donate to those.  This was a great way for them and their guests to help causes that were near and dear to their hearts.  

In the end the registry is about you and your new life together.  Like all things wedding make this experience about you and take your time together.  Shopping is meant to be fun and registering for your wedding is no different!

Happy planning and...

Cheers!

Organizing your guest list

Brides, it's time to organize your guest list and make excel spreadsheets your friend!

I can't begin to tell you how many different forms of a guest list I've seen over the years.  Each and every one has been a disorganized mess.  So, to make things easier for you take moment to look at my format for organizing your guest list. Using excel spreadsheets allows you to filter your guests by table, by who is and isn't coming, and who you've written a thank you note for. For sorting purposes it is important to separate last name, first name, address, etc. into separate fields for easy sorting.  And you can even use this list to organize your holiday cards!

Check it out and make excel spreadsheets your friend!

Until next time -

Cheers!

A Grand wedding at the Station

Recently I was presented with a wedding challenge that was most unexpected but that I also saw as an opportunity to do something that had not been done before.

In the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy there were numerous challenges as many event venues were damaged or not able to open as a result of the Hurricane.  I was fortunate in that most of my clients handled the challenge gracefully and went on to have tremendous events, despite any adversity.

My most recent Hurricane Sandy challenge was to turn Michael Jordan's Steakhouse inside Grand Central Station into a venue for a wonderful client's wedding ceremony and reception.  If you have been to Grand Central you know what a stunning setting it is with many Brides and Grooms using it as a backdrop for photos.  However, to hold the actual wedding inside of an active train hub is very different from just using the Station for photos.   I mean, imagine saying your vows as the overhead speaker is calling the 5:15 train to New Haven.

The other challenge was how to turn this vast space into an intimate setting for not only the reception but also for the ceremony.  We accomplished this by sectioning off one area of the restaurant for the ceremony and used large urns on pedestals to frame the ceremony area.  When set against the backdrop of the Station, it was pretty spectacular.

Following the ceremony guests were escorted into the bar area of the restaurant for cocktails while we transformed the main room for the seated reception.  The client wanted a clean, sleek look so I used simple glass containers and floral in her colors of blue and white.  As guests came back into the main room they first saw a long, sleek escort card table with square glass containers in varying heights, each holding a different bouquet of a single flower type and color. A nice touch was that each escort card was actually a frame that the guests could keep as a favor.

For the tables we continued the sleek look with a runner of glass containers in the same color scheme. It was a perfect compliment to the grand space without trying to overpower it.

The clean sleek look was carried through all elements, even the cake which was simply adorned with the same flowers that I used throughout the wedding.

While a wedding in Grand Central Station was not part of the couple's original vision, the end result was a beautiful wedding shared by family and friends.  Everyone had a great time and the couple was very happy which is the most important part.

Here's hoping we do not have a repeat of Sandy and the challenges it created.

Cheers!

The Mayflower Inn & Spa

This past weekend Michael and I had an opportunity to experience the wonderful Mayflower Inn & Spa in Washington, Connecticut and I want to share this great spa and destination wedding venue with you.

While I had heard of the Mayflower, until this weekend I had never had the opportunity to experience this wonderful property along with their great restaurants and, of course, the magnificent spa.  I am lucky to have wonderful clients and this weekend retreat was a gift for a recent event and what a perfect gift it was!

We arrived on a cold, cloudy Friday so it was a pleasure to enter the cozy lobby where we were promptly greeted and escorted to a beautiful suite with a fireplace that was perfect for what turned out to be another snowy weekend.  While touring the grounds I could not help but think, "What a perfect setting for a wedding or even a girls spa weekend before the wedding!"  The gardens are spectacular and the dining room and outdoor areas would be perfect for a small wedding.

While the setting is beautiful, the great service, wonderful food, and the exceptional spa facilities that really make staying at the Mayflower Inn an exceptional experience.  I had an amazing massage and really enjoyed the facilities.  Overall it was a weekend that I will not soon forget and that I look forward to repeating soon.

I encourage you to check it out and plan your own spa weekend.

Cheers!

The Knot Fall / Winter 2012

I am so excited to be noted in The Knot's newest edition as an "Editor's Pick" for Wedding Planners in New York.  

Check out the new issue with great information for brides in the Tri-state area.

Until next time,

Cheers

All Fired Up!

Cake designed by Elizabeth Hodes, Photography by Craig Paulson

Every morning my routine starts something like this.  Get up, take the dogs out, come back inside, pour myself a strong cup of Pilan coffee and turn on Good Morning America.  I love watching GMA, they are funny, informative and the morning crew gets me motivated to start my day.

However, this morning I nearly spit my coffee all over my computer screen when I heard their tease on how brides can shop for their wedding cake at of all places the grocery store!  My first thought was "you've got to be kidding me"!

I have to tell you I completely disagree with the segment.  I was so fired up I didn't need that second cup of coffee to get me up and out the door!  And after a heated twitter exchange with a few follower,s I realized I couldn't get my thoughts or message out in 140 characters, so I felt the need to express my thoughts here…

You might ask why does shopping for a wedding cake at a grocery store upset me so?  I have 7 very good reasons:

1. Grocery stores don't know brides

Chances are you when you step up to the bakery counter at your local grocery store you are dealing with someone who does not have the first idea of what it takes to throw a wedding, much less how to advise a bride on her wedding cake.  Bottom line, brides want to be educated.  That person could be a high school or college student making minimum wage.  For them the most important thought on their mind is when they get to clock out so they can study for their mid-term.  Don’t' get me wrong, they are probably hard workers, but do they really understand that for a bride choosing vanilla over chocolate or roses over daisy's it's a matter of life and death?  Do they understand most brides spend hours poring over photos of cakes?  To a bride the way the cake looks and the way it tastes is more important than the stock exchange dipping below 600?  Do they understand any of this?  Chances are NO!

These workers are not trained to properly deal with bride’s emotions.  They are not trained to truly listen to what the bride is saying.  They are not trained to guide her and to educate her.  They are merely trained to bake a cake, slap some frosting on it and send it on its way.

2. Quality of work

The quality of the work is so important when it comes to a wedding cake!  The cake artists (that is what I call them because that's truly what they are) I know have been trained for years to hone their craft.  When you work with a grocery store you are most likely working with someone who took a two hour course at a community college.  Again, nothing wrong with that….But do you want an artist or an apprentice making your cake?  All the brides I know want someone with experience who is going to take pride in the end result.  When you work with a grocery store are you truly going to get level of service your wedding cake deserves?

3. Taste

Sam Champion said it this morning, taste is just as important as the look of the cake.  All the grocery store cakes I've had have been dry and taste like card board.  Remember, besides the bride in the white dress the cake is the second most photographed item at a wedding.  And it's the last bit of food a guest tastes.  If the cake is not good then people won't eat it.  If that's the case why spend the money at all?

4. Service / Customer Care

I don't know about you, but anytime I've had issues at a grocery store with the quality of service it's like a ghost town…no one in sight.  I've become resigned to the fact grocery stores want to make money, but they don't necessarily care about customer service.  I hardly ever get "did you find what you're looking for".  So what makes you think the level of service is going to be any different when shopping for your wedding cake?  Are you going to be able to do a cake tasting to decide what filling goes with what cake flavor?  Are you going to have someone who is able to sketch your cake for you?  And most importantly who is going to deliver your cake on your wedding day?  We've all seen the cake shows and how quickly a cake can turn to mush with one quick push of the brake pedal.  Do you really want to have to worry about that on your wedding day?

5. Accountability

When something does go wrong with your cake who is going to be accountable?  What if the grocery store has 50 cakes and your cake is the one that is not designed correctly?  Who is going to fix it?  What if the only cake designer is tied up and you have to take your cake as is?  What if they hired a teenager to deliver the cake and they get lost?  What if you can't get the same person on the phone twice?  Who is accountable?

6. Sacrificing service for price

Weddings are amazing as the party of a lifetime and I couldn't be more honored to be involved in creating someone's special day.  However, with the economy the way it is, brides are often sacrificing quality service for a lower price.  Do you know why?  Because companies think they can undercut the competitor, get more volume without worrying about the quality of the work.

This is perhaps my biggest pet peeve in the wedding industry today.  Up until about 5 years ago, the industry was lightly peppered with individuals that truly knew what they were doing.  They had a handle on the industry, but everyone quickly thought planning weddings was easy.  They thought creating invites was easy.  Baking a cake was easy.  Doing photography was easy.  Working with brides was easy.  The truth be told none of it’s easy.  It takes experience, dedication and drive to do what wedding professionals do.  And just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

What's happened is the wedding industry has become so saturated brides are sacrificing good service over a lower price.  As a result, the bar is being set so low that when they see good quality they can't understand the correlation to the higher cost.  Thus they go with the less expensive vendor.  The result is a lower quality product.  And the vendor that charges more has to work harder to maintain what the less qualified vendor makes.  Remember, the old saying - you get what you pay for. Well it's true!  Just because the price is lower doesn't mean you are getting better product…

7. Using professionals

A grocery store should sell groceries and everyday needs.  A caterer should not try to do floral design.  A lighting company shouldn't try to be a caterer.  I always say stick with what you know and leave the rest to professionals.  What most people don't realize is that the wedding industry is made up of mom and pop stores.  In fact, almost the entire wedding industry is made up of entrepreneurs that have worked years to establish themselves as the best in the industry.  So when a grocery store says it can do a wedding cake for less while undercutting what is a true art form and a source of income for folks I know.  I get a little testy and fired up.  Again, just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Remember when you work with true wedding professionals they will know the right questions to ask thereby educating you on what's right for your wedding.  All wedding professionals I know take pride in what they do and thereby it makes them much more accountable than a grocery store any day.  So the next time you want to cut corners on your wedding ask yourself.  Is a lower price really worth the peace of mind?

Until next time -

Cheers!