Every so often I come across an article that I think is spot on and I feel needs to be shared with my readers and anyone planning a wedding.
I have to shre this article from the Huffington Post because I think it is so on target. It discusses a number of misconceptions in the wedding industry and what is the reality. With so much information on the internet, much of which is really not accurate, I think it is important to be able to see the truth. Just click on the link below and you will see what I mean.
I would love to hear your input on the article and some of your experiences planning a wedding. Feel free to leave your comments.
Until next time...
Friday, January 8, 2016
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
A couple of days ago I wrote about “Who to Please When Planning Your Wedding” and it occurred to me I never truly closed the loop on how to handle unruly family and friends when you are planning your wedding.
While I’m not a family therapist, and have no intention of becoming one, (although some days I do feel like I play the role) I often have to step in and iron out family matters and smooth over ruffled feathers.
The truth is, families are complicated and they get even more complicated when planning a wedding. The mothers want to feel like they are contributing, especially when there is a planner involved. Some siblings want to help, but aren’t sure where they are needed. And others members of the family really don’t care or perhaps they care too much.
So what is a bride to do when it comes to planning her wedding and dealing with family dynamics? Communication is the key…While it may not solve all problems and while not everyone involved will truly understand, communication is the key to almost any relationship.
I often recommend to my brides and grooms who have sticky family relationships to sit down and clearly communicate what their vision is for their wedding. Notice, I said “their”. It’s because it is about the bride and the groom, that’s not to say others opinions shouldn’t be counted, but in the end it is about the bride and groom. By clearly communicating what they desire it will hopefully be a springboard for how others will react and respect their choices.
Also, by clearly communicating the roles they wish family members to take it will help set boundaries and in the end open the lines of communication. I’m not saying there won’t be heated discussions here and there, but what I am saying is that if everyone comes together and clearly communicates their desires, their wants and their “don’t want’s” then it puts everyone on the same page and it creates mutual respect.
Again, I’m not a therapist, and I don’t pretend to be one, but after many years of planning weddings with hundreds of different personalities' the one thing I’ve learned is that if everyone is on the same page, whether they want to be or not, it does make planning a wedding a bit easier.
Until next time…
Monday, January 4, 2016
I’ve come to the realization that, in life, you will never truly please everyone. And this fact definitely holds true when you’re planning your wedding.
Recently I have had a few brides who are playing the delicate balancing act of trying not to hurt someone’s feelings. Whether it be their mom, their future mother in law or their bridesmaids. While I applaud them on this balancing act, I also caution them because giving someone an inch often leads to them taking a mile.
We’ve all been there, right? We are planning a night out with friends. You like sushi, someone doesn’t. A friend wants to go to a wine bar, you to the casual neighborhood watering hole. Another wants to go to the new hot spot in town, while another hates crowds. Ultimately you all end up at a place that is just okay and still there’s someone who isn’t happy.
The reality is, when planning your wedding you’re not going to please everyone. This means, mom, grandma, best friend and so on. Now I’m not saying you throw everything to the wind and don’t care, but what I am saying is that if you listen to everything everyone else says you as the bride (and let’s not forget the groom) are not going to enjoy YOUR day! You need to do what’s right for you, what you feel in your own heart.
I’m also not saying you throw etiquette out the window. Etiquette will always play in role in any wedding. But what I am saying is that if you want a beach wedding and want to wear a ball gown, go for it! If you want to get married at city hall and have your reception in a park pavilion go for it. And if a few people don’t like it, then so be it. After all it’s your wedding and your memories.
Don’t let those who don’t approve take up space in your head.
So go forth, plan away and remember, when you’re planning your wedding you’re creating your own memories, no one else's.
Until next time…